Picture this. I’m sitting in the office of my amazing corporate client last week. I’ve got an agenda for our meeting. She’s out of town this week and I want to be productive.
Got it? Ok! The next thing I know she’s showing me this Youtube video titled Stop it.
Here I was on the receiving end of what’s getting in my way. There’s nothing like having someone ask you a whole bunch of powerful questions to get to the heart of the matter! (wink)
Guess what’s at the heart of my struggling?
ME! I am the only one responsible for my struggling. Yuck!
Confession time! I have been locked in a struggle AND, what’s worse, I’ve been feeding that struggle.
I’m so tired of waking up every single morning with the same stupid thoughts. They’re actually not just thoughts, they’re worries. It’s like I wake up and my mind goes straight to the race track to do a few hundred laps to warm up for the day. And I haven’t even gotten out of bed yet.
Thank goodness for my cat, Brutus. His cuddles are amazing for helping me stop the worry laps, even if it’s just for a few minutes.
What are some of your 1st thoughts in the morning?
Ok, back to struggle! It’s becoming my favourite topic. I’m on a mission to busting the bulls**t lie that “The struggle is real.”
THE ONLY THING REAL ABOUT STRUGGLE IS THAT IT’S A COMPLETE LIE.
Yup, and what’s worse, is it’s like your best friend. Seriously, who wants a friend like that?
“We’re more terrified of what we don’t know that we continue to exist in a life we don’t like”
I have the most amazing friends that are so wise. Everyone should have a Cecily in their life.
What would you do, how would you feel, if you didn’t have to struggle? Even as I consider that, I can feel a lump in my throat. I’m thrilled and hopeful that it could be true and at the same time, it’s like, egads, what would I do?
I got ahead of myself. I sometimes like to go straight to the shiny object. It feels better than playing in the muck. I’ve learned that the gold is in the muck. Kind of like the oyster out of the clam. I love metaphors.
The first key to stopping struggle is to admit that you’re struggling and then stop. What? Yup, that’s it. If you follow me on Facebook, a friend just posted her 1st step is to yell I QUIT.
Struggling is how we think we need to cope with life. What struggle is really doing is robbing us of what’s really going on. We lie to ourselves by saying “If I could just figure this out, then my life will be ok.”
What if, your life were already ok and there was nothing to solve? I’m not saying that life is perfect, or there aren’t choices and decisions to be made. I’m offering, in this moment, by letting go of the lie that you have to do or be anything you aren't, is what's keeping you away from your true self.
For me, when I struggle sometimes it’s because I don’t want to feel sadness or hurt or loneliness. When I deny my emotions, no matter what they are, I stay stuck in my loop of struggle and worry.
For the next week, make it a game. It’s the Bust the Struggle Myth Awareness Week! Notice when you’re struggling and tell yourself, I’m stopping now. There’s nothing to solve, just notice.
As you learn awareness, you’ll be able to stop your struggle story.
I’ll be back next week with the 2nd step. In the meantime, I would love to know what your struggle path is like? What are the 1sts thoughts you wake up with in the morning? How do you manage struggle?
Leave a comment or send me a note. Email Beth