In the last 24 hours, I found a poem on a card I’d bought a long time ago & in my morning gratitude practice I said I was grateful for my commitment to myself, for never giving up: co-incidence or not?
So, what do I need to know?
I was thinking this weekend, I feel a little like Carrie Bradshaw from Sex & The City. I differ in that I’m not talking about sex or relationships, yet (ha!) and I don’t have the budget for the voice over as she typed her weekly column. I digressed there.
I’m the Carrie Bradshaw that connects with her heart. She used her journey to explore & share for the sake of wanting to know the answers to her questions. We also differ in therapy outlets, hers was shoes; mine is fabric. Ok, enough.
How often do I give up on myself, and, not even notice?
I remember during a course, one of the leaders said “We’re conscious when we’re conscious & we’re not when we’re not.” AND, neither place is right or wrong. It just is. What the F@*k does that mean?
As I’m writing, I see that giving up on myself is going unconscious, disconnecting from me.
Ok, so all I need to do is be conscious, ALL THE TIME, then everything will feel ok? Right? No, not right. That’s my all or nothing thinking that gets me into trouble.
If you are disconnected, remember that you’re disconnected. It takes courage to be with what is.
Here we are, back to the being with what is again!
So, what does my heart want me to know?
I pull a card every morning and ask the question, what do I need to be aware of today? The card I pulled was ‘compromise.’
The message was so clear. “If we (I) look deeply into it, I will usually find that I’m trying to gain something. Whether it’s power or the approval of others.
It hurts a little to admit it, but yes, I want approval from others. I want to be loved. I think sometimes I’m not even aware of the words I’m saying because they’re coming from the disconnected me that’s longing for connection.
“Your true beautiful self exists within you & she’s longing to meet you & love you.”
Courage is the way into your true self and the more we practice courage, the easier it becomes.
Where have you been courageous in your life? What are some of your 1sts?
Do you remember your 1st date, or, learning to ride a bicycle? I remember the 1st time I jumped off the deep end of the dock.
What does courage want you to know today? Curious to meet your true beautiful self? Let’s talk
Till next time.