I have a confession to make and I don’t want to make it. So, before the reveal, I’ll share a little background as to why I’m doing this today.
10 years ago (wow!) I lost my breasts due to reconstruction surgery & I resigned from my company. It was an excruciatingly painful time in my life.
I was a failure. I had lost everything. What was wrong with me?
This got heavy fast, didn’t it? Part of me is thinking, ok, now what do I write?
I was so angry, I couldn’t understand why all this had happened to me. I’m so grateful today that somewhere deep inside me, there was a knowing that I needed to talk to someone. That’s a whole other conversation for another day.
As I started to share my story more & more, I remember tasting what freedom felt like. People weren’t rejecting me. I had been so afraid that if others knew what had happened they wouldn’t like me.
The gift of acceptance is the letting go of shame, that there’s something wrong with me…..
I was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes about 1.5 years ago. I hate it. It’s like I have a label that says, you don’t know how to take care of yourself. You must be bad. I don’t think more then 6 people knew till last summer. I was prescribed 3 Metformin a day.
In January I committed to doing whatever it took to get off the pills & reverse the diagnosis. In Beth style, I ate the same healthy food every single day & continued to exercise. BORING!!! RIGID!!!! I’m grateful that I am down 25lbs & am only taking 2 pills per day.
I’m sharing this today, because I haven’t accepted this wholly & completely. I see myself slipping & eating sweets & the carbs that aren’t good for me. This voice inside says, “it’s ok, you can do better tomorrow”.
As long as I stay focused on where I’m not, I’ll never be able to change where I am.
So, the question becomes, What’s here?
One thing I’d mastered in life was being able to know everything that’s wrong with anything that could possibly go wrong or be wrong in seconds! How exhausting is that? I used to call it a Super Power.
I have a much better Super Power to introduce to you!
Yes, that’s right, it’s a Super Power. Try it! Get curious about something right now & see how you feel? Are your senses tingling? Is there an anticipation for something unexpected that might be delightful?
Instead of getting out the paper & writing down everything that’s wrong with me having Type 2 Diabetes, when I step into Curious Beth, I start wondering about all the delicious foods that I haven’t even tried or know about. See how it can begin?
Here are a few steps I’m taking towards acceptance.
- I’m not hiding anymore
- Reaching out to my coach for more understanding
What would you like to break free from? What’s here?
Curious? Let’s talk!
Till next time.